Sunday, June 26, 2016

Similarities Create Friendships

Similarities create friendships while differences hold them together-Danish proverb

It makes sense that we are drawn to people who are similar to ourselves. Trying to discover similarities in tastes or in hobbies can really be the foundation of a first conversation with someone. While those similarities do help create that initial bond, it's really the differences we find in people that help to make them interesting to us. We don't want to be friends with people who are exactly like us in every way-thing would get boring pretty quickly!

We may encounter people in our lives who we would assume, based on their country of origin, their background, their religion or their age, that we would have nothing in common with. It has been my experience that this is largely wrong-it is much harder to find someone you have absolutely nothing in common with than someone who you have at least some similarities. One of the easiest places to start is with activities, and this is especially so if there is a language barrier. You might not speak a common language, but you can play soccer-even if it is against a team of 12-year old boys (hey, they are faster than they look). Or play cards. Or drink coffee or tea together. Or watch sports, crochet, listening to music, cook, eat, laugh. Once that initial common interest is explored, getting to know all of the things that makes someone different than oneself is not only interesting, it's also often rewarding.



The human experience can really be remarkably similar, if we allow ourselves to see those similarities. We can expand our view of what we have in common with others, and not just limit it to hobbies and favorite tv shows or ice cream flavors (though you really will probably be my new best friend if you also love to enjoy Half-Baked ice cream while you watch Game of Thrones). There are many facets to our personalities and to our interests. When we take time to explore and share those, our connections with others can really expand. And then comes the fun part where we are able to grow and learn and develop with the help of those around us. Who knows what might come of that, but it's certainly exciting to think about...

Saturday, June 18, 2016

For the Love of Country


"I have to remind myself that I can support my country too. Bad people like ice cream and I can also like ice cream." Before the first game for Germany in the 2016 Euro Cup, my friend and I sat discussing patriotism and pride for one's country. We talked about how to reconcile wanting to support your home team in something like an international football match and not wanting to outwardly display patriotism, to drape a flag around you and loudly proclaim your love for country. Outside of the international sporting events, these displays in Germany are most often seen among those on the far right, those whose politics are quite disagreeable to many people here.







After the terrible event in Orlando, I too have to ask myself how it's possible to still feel pride in a country where such events can and do occur. I have to ask myself how to feel pride and love when I have no explanation to give to my co-workers and neighbors when they ask how or why such things happen in the US. I was living in Morocco when the tragic event at Sandy Hook took place. Being abroad during such tragedies is difficult-it forces not only explanations to others but also some sort of self-reflection. These questions surrounding love for country and patriotism inevitably arise.

In my reflections, I have come to realize that it is not so much a question of merely loving one's country. It is more about having the kind of love that allows for that reflection, for judgement, and ultimately, for criticism. It is blind love and devotion that is truly dangerous. I can love where I am from-or at least love many things about where I am from-even if bad people also claim to do so. Heck, the US is great-we have Ben and Jerry's, free wifi, and wonderful national parks. There are many things that I would miss if they were gone. Yet my patriotic feelings will always be accompanied by a critical lens. Because without reflection, change is not possible and we can't improve. As a country, we can and should strive to get better. We have so much to gain, just imagine the possibilities...

Sunday, June 5, 2016

Sunrise, Sunset

They are called Rolladen and they are a truly wonderful invention-shutters that roll down from the inside and block out light and noise and heat. I stopped using them about two weeks after my arrival because I was afraid that I would begin sleeping 20 hours a day (they are really that good). Since I ended my brief affair with the Rolladen, I have begun to realize how much light there is-the days here are really really long. It's great, the sun rises about 5:30 and sets around 9:30. By 6:30 AM, the birds are chirping and the sun is blazing. I (usually) feel super energized and can get so much done with all this daylight to play around with. Granted, it's been thunder-storming and raining nearly every day, but, hey, at least it's still bright out. 

As I sat last weekend in the park, soaking up all the Vitamin D I'm going to need to get me through another Michigan winter, I started to think about Ramadan. I've been talking with my colleagues and friends about it for a few weeks now. The month of fasting will begin tomorrow for Muslims here in Germany (insh'allah) and everyone seems ready. The trouble is, and what I have finally started to realize, is that these long, light-filled days are not just new for me, but also for many of those who will be abstaining from eating food and drinking (even water) during the daylight hours in Germany for the next month. And the general consensus seems to be that it's going to be hard. Really hard.  Okay, the really hard is my interpretation. When I've asked my friends and colleagues who are going to be fasting about the long days, they sort of just smile and shrug and say it will be ok. But for many people spending their first Ramadan in a country that will not have Ramadan hours or a time change or community-wide iftur (breaking of the fast) as they do in many majority-Muslim countries, this has the potential to be an especially difficult month. 

This Ramadan presents a great opportunity-one in which Germans can learn more about the culture of many of those who have recently come, and in which communities can come together and share food and traditions. It is my hope that everyone can take the time to learn a little, to ask questions and to reflect. And perhaps we can all be thankful we're not in Sweden where the sun rises at 3:30 AM, because, come on, that's just too much of a good thing.